Tuesday 2 November 2010

STRICTLY SAPPHIC



I asked my closest lesbian friends for input to this blogspot and they were somewhat nonplussed- men, it appears, are catered for with inordinate mountains of Gay product whilst women seem under-served with molehills. How very queer. Could it have anything to do with the relative legal positions of the two genders? Male activity- outlawed by act of parliament signed by Queen Victoria, was henceforth forced underground and a significant clandestine aspect of gay men's behaviour remains today, decades after the repeal of those laws.  I have said it before- there is immense profit to be made out of the forbidden. Queen Victoria, who was no stranger to exercising her lusts with gusto, could not believe that women of any class would succumb to a bout of mutual tonguing. On her disgust alone the delights of femmes supping the furry cup were erased from the legislation. Scot free- the only charge lesbians have ever been liable to is that of  'causing public offence'. Now- seeing two handsome gals strolling hand in hand has always fired heterosexual desire and the sight of women kissing all the more so. The occasion of any of them ever being charged with causing offence was just not going to happen. Lesbians have always been part of the mainstream- albeit slightly left of centre where socialists and anarchy have historically lurked. The trouble with mainstream as an associative label is that it embraces normal and with it only normal profit. The big bucks always tie into any outcast and derided sector of society with vast numbers and spare cash. Childless single men ticked all the boxes and a mammoth industry has been built off their wage packets.
The idea that there are more gay men than there are gay women is plainly ridiculous. Market-wise there has been a traditional bias towards targeting product for men- my guestimate is the ratio is two to one. Personally I find this notion objectionable and highly sexist.
I do not want to appear to have forgotten our lesbian friends. Heavens- the ones I referred to at the beginning of this piece are invaluable human beings, utterly delightful, a couple with activist passions who marched in London against the recent visit of the homophobic [in the closet] Pope. I applaud them. So for them and women like them I have created a page here STRICTLY SAPPHIC and I am currently engaging in talks with other activist lesbians to see where we can go forward from this point. Your contributions would be most welcome. CM. 


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SERIOUSLY- SOME OF US ARE STILL KILLED FOR LOVE

HAVING A LAUGH

‎'Put your hands up any heteros in the house. Ah bless. Now put your fists up any gays in the house! Wow! That's more like it- marvellous. I've got this day job, a nice little earner- sales rep for KY Jelly. Look- I know it's a stretch madam but this is supposed to be a laugh. Don't tell me your self-lubricating you're in the OAP seats.' CM


'The fossil stand-up with a walking frame, John Rivers- who thinks jewellery should yell CHEAP louder than fucking canaries on acid said of Yoko Ono- if she found her floating in her pool then she'd punish her dog. I knew that heartless bitch could be cruel to dogs.' CM

THE QUEER MESSIAH BANNED

THE QUEER MESSIAH BANNED
Soon to be in an HMV store near you- we wish. NO CHANCE this version with Lee Plonker was disbanded. It has risen like a phoenix from the fires of disappointment though. YAY!

DUREX TINGLE LUBE

DUREX TINGLE LUBE
It works. Course I have. Fab.

THE RUMOUR-MONGERS TONGUE LASHING NEWS DESK

MORTAL INSTRUMENTS Such are the demands of Hollywood that Lily Collins has to continue to pretend that her former relationship with JCB is in fact alive. A little bird tells me it as a dead as a DODO which was a very big bird indeed. Ha. Just like the writer of Mortal Instruments. Believe me the best thing about this movie franchise will be LILY COLLINS who has just delivered the performance of her life in the soon to be released LOVE ROSIE. An Oscar nomination beckons I reckon. And yes, I am in a position to know. THE NEXT LAME DEVELOPMENT IN SELF-PUBLISHING Saddo outfits such as the much fanned ONEIROS BOOKS actually self-publish authors who are too cowardly, lazy, lousy or inept to self-publish themselves. HILARIOUS. Of course you have to get through the onerous filtering processes. Licking arse helps. Judging by this house's nauseatingly variable standard of output the filters in place are utterly worthless. The poetry editor has no understanding of POETRY per se and is a piss-poor poet by any standard. They openly applaud themselves for being revolutionary. Pathetic. They are but a further evolution of the self-affirmation model and the modernly sociopathic ego. Steer clear. Do not indulge their risible waste of tree.

ALWAYS PRACTICE

ALWAYS PRACTICE
until you're absolutely perfect at it.

HAVE FUN

HAVE FUN
with the total freedom to be and love who you are without complaint or restraint.

GOGGLE GIGGLE BOX CAMP FAVES

TOP 25 TUNES PREVIEWS

THE QUEER MESSIAH BANNED


QUEER MESSIAH BANNED PLAYER

This is where the first tracks for the new band will shortly appear but meanwhile I will be showcasing songs from prior collaborations- this first one CALIFORNIAN QUEEN is from the album CERULEAN BLUE that I wrote with the genius Dominic Shaw. I do the spoken word and he does the lead vocals and instruments. He is not a gay man and is now heavily into ambient music. The album was loved by Phil Collins, Hit and Run Music and EMI- but eight years ago no-one had any idea how to market it.