Saturday 4 August 2012

FUCK THE LGBTQ AGENDA SAYS BENDER


'Ho ho ho- far from having a LGBTQ AGENDA I would happily nuke the lot of the mealy mouthed self-interested bastards for all the good they actually do as a supposedly pro-active minority group: they are constant squabbling among themselves, are late starters and very rarely finish.


Compared to the smaller disabled lobby they are rank amateurs letting themselves be run by the elite gays and their 
sycophants who ply their lifestyle in London.

PLUS for everyone's info I am quite set against gay marriage being in any way imitative of heterosexual secular or religious marriage, those institutions are crocks and quite clearly not fit for purpose so who the fuck but an idiot would want them. There is nothing whatsoever wrong with being born a bastard- it is a very royal habit.



I profoundly loathe being labelled 'someone with a gay lifestyle'...I try not to be negatively detrimental about it BUT I just don't live my life like that. I would have dearly loved to have bettered the effectiveness of the LGBTQ profile in the UK but it is a very closed shop and many times they have quite disgracefully slammed the door in my face. There is so much show and flim and flam in that cauldron of egos it is thoroughly unbearable and I have not found an 'alternative' gay press that does not have to buy into it for commercial reasons. Pink Pound market forces are IMMENSELY strong and those who understandably exploit them for a secure profit play to the most shallow and common factors in our beleagured community. Then you have to factor in the tele-visual paradigms of what constitutes a family friendly gay icon- two types for before and after the watershed. I have quite given up save for the fact that it is ripe for satire in my new collaboration with the marvelous and splendidly misunderstood firmly heterosexual Mike Knowles- a great talent for human observation.'CM




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SERIOUSLY- SOME OF US ARE STILL KILLED FOR LOVE

HAVING A LAUGH

‎'Put your hands up any heteros in the house. Ah bless. Now put your fists up any gays in the house! Wow! That's more like it- marvellous. I've got this day job, a nice little earner- sales rep for KY Jelly. Look- I know it's a stretch madam but this is supposed to be a laugh. Don't tell me your self-lubricating you're in the OAP seats.' CM


'The fossil stand-up with a walking frame, John Rivers- who thinks jewellery should yell CHEAP louder than fucking canaries on acid said of Yoko Ono- if she found her floating in her pool then she'd punish her dog. I knew that heartless bitch could be cruel to dogs.' CM

THE QUEER MESSIAH BANNED

THE QUEER MESSIAH BANNED
Soon to be in an HMV store near you- we wish. NO CHANCE this version with Lee Plonker was disbanded. It has risen like a phoenix from the fires of disappointment though. YAY!

DUREX TINGLE LUBE

DUREX TINGLE LUBE
It works. Course I have. Fab.

THE RUMOUR-MONGERS TONGUE LASHING NEWS DESK

MORTAL INSTRUMENTS Such are the demands of Hollywood that Lily Collins has to continue to pretend that her former relationship with JCB is in fact alive. A little bird tells me it as a dead as a DODO which was a very big bird indeed. Ha. Just like the writer of Mortal Instruments. Believe me the best thing about this movie franchise will be LILY COLLINS who has just delivered the performance of her life in the soon to be released LOVE ROSIE. An Oscar nomination beckons I reckon. And yes, I am in a position to know. THE NEXT LAME DEVELOPMENT IN SELF-PUBLISHING Saddo outfits such as the much fanned ONEIROS BOOKS actually self-publish authors who are too cowardly, lazy, lousy or inept to self-publish themselves. HILARIOUS. Of course you have to get through the onerous filtering processes. Licking arse helps. Judging by this house's nauseatingly variable standard of output the filters in place are utterly worthless. The poetry editor has no understanding of POETRY per se and is a piss-poor poet by any standard. They openly applaud themselves for being revolutionary. Pathetic. They are but a further evolution of the self-affirmation model and the modernly sociopathic ego. Steer clear. Do not indulge their risible waste of tree.

ALWAYS PRACTICE

ALWAYS PRACTICE
until you're absolutely perfect at it.

HAVE FUN

HAVE FUN
with the total freedom to be and love who you are without complaint or restraint.

GOGGLE GIGGLE BOX CAMP FAVES

TOP 25 TUNES PREVIEWS

THE QUEER MESSIAH BANNED


QUEER MESSIAH BANNED PLAYER

This is where the first tracks for the new band will shortly appear but meanwhile I will be showcasing songs from prior collaborations- this first one CALIFORNIAN QUEEN is from the album CERULEAN BLUE that I wrote with the genius Dominic Shaw. I do the spoken word and he does the lead vocals and instruments. He is not a gay man and is now heavily into ambient music. The album was loved by Phil Collins, Hit and Run Music and EMI- but eight years ago no-one had any idea how to market it.