To be honest I was neither shocked nor rocked by Gay Times' recent signature article on arse fucking 'Be A Better Bottom'- cute headline but the bottom line really is that it was not at all innovatively informative and was somewhat patronising; a sad trend for this gay glossy which survives on half its pages being devoted to pink pound advertising the largest percentage of which is for gratuitous sex services. Check out the increasingly graphic escort ads.
Surprise surprise but gay men do know about rectal sex! OK it took a Radio 1 DJ weeks to determine that Frankie Goes To Hollywood's hit 'Relax' was about butt stuffing but he was a straight man- the BBC do employ some.
Amazingly this pointless article- it gave no direct advice as to maximise cleanliness or minimise pain, ended with this quote by Gordon Mundie a health expert from the Terrence Higgins Trust 'People have been having anal sex for thousands of years. Straight men, heterosexual women and lesbians all stick stuff up their bottoms. The muscles in your arse will stretch but they'll go back to how they were. Lots of gay men have been taking it up the arse for years and I don't know any who are wearing a nappy as a result.'
It hurts- less with practice. A big cock hurts more. A fist- don't go there, though I know some do; they are masochists. Lube helps greatly AND a condom- always use water based lube to secure the barrier viability of the condom. Bleeding is not uncommon.
Research rectal douching- you can buy bathroom kits.
All that aside I find it deeply freaking to read that the gay world is still pussy footing about this subject which has always been far from a bunch of violets. Male rape happens- no candles and whale music there. There are 'sex with strangers' back rooms in almost every gay night club worldwide- without the light on any pretence at cleanliness is just laughable. Those places make sleaze pigs smile. When you fuck butt expect to encounter shit.
Gay Times, true to form, fought shy of the dark side- Madonna, Madonna. In the same arena there are young gay guys who are desperate to feel a sense of profound belonging and for them being fucked up the arse is just not enough- they crave to be gang banged by HIV positive gay men; they want to hurt, to bleed and get infected. They want that because they believe, in this twisted world, that without the virus they are not entirely gay. They call themselves bugcatchers and they go to bugcatching parties where the modus operandi is unsafe sex.
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