I twattishly continue to half-heartedly support the England football team despite 1] 30+ years of undoubted drought 2] A manager whose first language is Italian 3] An abysmal World Cup in South Africa- due largely to a manager whose first language is Italian, the inexplicable absence of the talented, intelligent and charming Leo Walcott and the inexplicable presence of the questionably talented, moronic and utterly charmless Neanderthal Wayne Rooney. I am now at mercurial boiling point.
For the past few weeks the media-waves have been clogged with the detritus that constitutes the current state of play in this idiot's life. Nothing you ever hear or read has ever spilled from his lips- all the verbiage is managerial, agent or journalist spin and counter spin and the din of it is fucking deafening. Fucking is one of the few words that Wayne can read, write and speak with spite along with sufficient vocabulary to read the adverts for working girls in telephone boxes. He's great at scoring with whores- ask the dough faced missus he leaves indoors, but he's gotten to be a proper hissy bitch when it comes to scoring on the hallowed pitch.
I just don't get it. Where else in this topsy turvy world could you a] under perform at your place of work b] show belligerence and disloyalty to your employers c] practice a lifestyle that is counter to your trade YET end up signing a new five year contract and SIGNIFICANTLY increase your wage to- WAIT FOR IT £200,000 PER WEEK!! Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but I thought we were facing a double dip recession; I thought the poor were getting it in the neck [for poor read football fans]; I thought the wealthy and the swindling bankers were getting off scot free.
Here's a great iconic bit of business- FAIL to deliver, throw all your toys out of your monstrous pram and you may be incredibly well rewarded. Bless.
Yes bless. I say that because he needs the money now. There is no career after football waiting for him. He is no Gary Linekar.
Intelligent footballers have largely been forced to dumb themselves down for fear of homophobic slurs- such is the state of the beautiful game. There are no out gay footballers in the English Premiership- though we know, statistically, they are there. Let Wayne remain a fine model for heterosexual men.
A lady friend asked me about footballers- since they were getting so much press about six of them at a time screwing three tarts altogether in the same room; she wondered if I thought that a little odd. Well of course I didn't think it odd. Men throughout history have had their senses heightened by the proximity of active erections; there is the thrill of pack activity and the satisfaction of any latent homosexuality being vented. The Premiership wants things to remain that way. Out and proud gays in top flight football would curtail the ugly way apes like Wayne Rooney behave overnight. Communal baths- forget it. AND the ironic twist would be that the FA would argue how expensive installing private bathing facilities in all football grounds would be. They could bill Wayne- he can clearly afford it.
"Superman (featuring Bucie)"
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